I don't have any autoimmune disorders, which includes Lupus... but the bad news is that I was unable to obtain SSI/SSD the first time, but am appealing as we speak. Here's to another six months of waiting. Yay. Cannot be helped tho... I need that money to live off of. Kit can only sustain us so long before her Unemployment runs dry and everything hits the shit creek. I'm anxious all the time now and it's making me physically sick with worry. I do not want to live with my mother ever again even if it kills me. It's way too much stress for myself to handle and I feel like I'm cracking.... hard. I don't know if Kit notices, but I'm trying to keep her from worrying about me and focusing on getting work for herself. The hard part about it all is I feel useless in this whole mess and I just.. I just don't feel right at all at this moment. I feel nothing but pain and I don't know why I feel rage, it comes and goes.. I need a man in my life... Someone I can fall back on.. and not be the strong one constantly.. it's shattering my mind and body to pieces and I don't want to be a shell again. I hated it. Well, here's the core of everything on my chest right now... but I'm sure if you want to know more, you know where to reach me.

~X